Men feel insecure in front of the camera too

As a photo studio celebrating its 19th year in business, we’re here to tell you that men have just as many insecurities and body image issues as women. There are some studies, like this one, that even show men are more likely to feel anxious and insecure about their bodies compared to women. MORE. And we see it every day in our studio. But what we also see is that men tend to have a harder time expressing and verbalizing their insecurities than women do.

We, as a society, have made great strides and advances in dealing with the negative body image the majority of women feel as a result of decades of idealized feminine faces and bodies in advertising and media. But we’ve hardly addressed this with men. As a result men are quietly stuffing their feelings about their bodies, and even develop eating disorders at similar rates as women.

Why? Think about it: we already have a discussion going about how the predominant image of a woman in advertising and media is unattainable: super slim, tall, zero body fat, smooth skin, huge eyelashes, yadda yadda.

But the image of men in advertising is equally unattainable: tall, a full head of thick and perfectly styled hair, a hypermasculine, body-builder physique with washboard abs, linebacker shoulders, and thighs that could crush walnuts. Images of men who are overweight, have thinning hair or baldness, glasses, or have a slim but not muscular physique are often used as the comic relief in an advertisement. The funny fat guy with a beer belly or the skinny nerd who loses the arm wrestling contest.

Men are expected to not just look confident, proud, and aggressive, but to also BE confident, proud, and aggressive. Aggressive confidence means they can’t say “woah I look fat in that photo” during a headshot session, for fear of being perceived as weak. 

Women can say to us photographers “woah I look fat in that photo” in a photo session with a high degree of assurance that our response would be “OMG, girl, no way you’re so not fat you look so beautiful,” like we’ve been saying to each other since the junior high gym class locker room. Sure, girls are teased in that same locker room for being fat. But men grew up with being teased not just for being fat or ugly or scrawny, but also for being a “wuss” if you can’t take a joke about it.

So men stay quiet. They just stare at their photo blankly, and we can physically feel their feelings being stuffed right in front of us. Or they’ll say what men always say and we seldom hear women say when they see their photo, “well you did the best you could with what you had to work with.”

To make matters worse, as photographers, a lot of the posing training we’re given doesn’t address confidence in men. For women, the posing goal is to create an hourglass shape for them, and it’s acceptable to smoosh themselves into some Spanx and get posed to high heaven for that perfect feminine angle. But men are just expected to BE that perfect masculine shape. And they don’t have as many clothing options to create shape. Just look at suits. Compared to the pinching darts and pleats and curves of women’s dresses, suits are basically fabric boxes with holes at the bottom for shoes.

So how do we help men work with body image during a photo shoot?

Just like with everyone, we help men focus on realism: not who they want to look like, but what they want their image to convey, such as confidence, strength, compassion, or creativity. Then we help them get an image that looks like them at their best, exuding that confidence, knowing that the majority of other people who see their photo will accept them for who they are, despite what their anxious minds are telling them.

There are finally more women of different shapes and sizes in advertising and modeling clothing on websites, but those models are still the cookie cutter Calvin Klein men for male clothing. So we try to create a dialogue in our studio to give men just as much space to talk through their insecurities and how we can get them an image they can be proud of.

A photo session is a collaboration between the photographer and the subject, who basically become colleagues on a project to create an awesome photo together. We’re coworkers for the length of our shoot, so we try to give men the space to join that collaboration and establish the trust that we understand them and their insecurities, and that our studio is a safe place to be.

What men can do during a photo session to feel confident

Here’s our advice to men having their photo taken: 

First, speak up. Trust your photographer. If you want to tell them you don’t like your photo, do it! Be clear as to why and what you don’t like about it. No matter how embarrassing it might be to verbalize that you feel fat, or your hair looks thinner in a photo than you feel it is in real life, tell them. They will NOT ridicule you or judge you or argue with you or think less of you. They are your teammate, and they are there to get a photo of you that you can be proud of.

Second, practice some compassion for yourself. Think of someone who loves you and imagine they’re with you at the photo shoot, and think of what they would say about how you look in the photos. If you want, bring that person to the shoot as your wingman. Let the photographer be your wingman. But also practice being that wingman for yourself.

And lastly, embrace realism. Sure, it would be great to look like that guy in the Calvin Klein billboard looking like he’s effortlessly lifting his arm over his head to relax but his abs are in He-Man mode. Well that guy isn’t real. And he’s probably just as photoshopped as the woman in the Victoria’s Secret billboard across from him.